Throw me a friggin bone, Im crabby!

I don't want to go to work today. Nor do I ever want to go again. I think I will just quit this afternoon. And live under the arch. That sounds nice. Considering I can't afford to live without a job. A 40 hour a week job. Hell on 40 hours I can barely afford to live anyway. And then, I can barely stand to be awake. It is awful. I'm in the slumpy rut. Most people hit their depression in December or the wintery months. It's mid-May and I'm just like "yeah, whatever" and I don't give a fuck about anything. I honestly want to stay home, under my covers, and cry. I don't even have a good reason why. I just feel crummy.

I couldn't sleep last night. I did yoga/pilates/weight work for about 2 1/2 hours. Decided I'm a huge fat ass. Must do something about it. There is no way I'm wearing cute summer clothes until I do. This comes mostly from observing the girls at work. Maybe listening to them rant about how imperfect thier size 5 bodies are, and the determintation they all have to lose 10 poubnds by the end of the month has kind of made me take a better look at myself and see my flabby arms, my thick thighs, and my poochy stomach make me look like a heifer.

Jesus, can I get in any worse of a mood? Probably, send me to work (late no less, due to writing instead of getting dressed) and we will see. I'm already pissed at my coworkers and I haven't even walked in the door. Shit, I haven't even put on my work clothes yet.

And THEN, as if I want to be out any longer than I have to, with work people. I agreed to watch Vanessas baby, so I get off at 5:30, and have to be BACK in Fenton by 7. Which gives me enough time to come home, change, think about eating..think some more about eating, realize I have ten minute to be to her house that I have never been to, grab a bottle of water and a hydroxycut and call that dinner, and speed there.

Someone, please, shoot me.

pffft

Stephanie