ahhhh!

My gold membership expires in less than 20 days. I want to renew basically so I can keep my pictures uploaded. But I don't know how much I want to keep this journal. I don't know.

So I am back home this weekend. I came down for prom and cried when I saw how beautiful my sister looked, and how handsome my brothers were. Jesus, they are growing up so fast. And I'm almost 20. It's depressing to me. Those are my baby siblings. They can't already be old enough to drive and go to proms and whatever. I'm going to post pictures in a bit.

I'm quite honestly on the brinks of an emotional breakdown. Mainly work is stressing me out. It is crazy. We get rid of one distrubance and it is replaced by something twice as awful. Steve has been back a week and everyone is ready to kill him. Susan more than anyone. I don't want to see a division happen at our office again. But I am sticking by Susan. That's my girl right there. Friday I had kill eyes going on. I was thinking bad death thoughts about 3 people I work with. And those thoughts still stand clear in my brain and if the opportunity shall ever arise....

I always get this huge ego boost whenever I come home. I saw so many people I went to school with and I know I got checked out by many of the guys that thought of me as the fat, ugly girl. It's nice when you can smile and shoot them that "ha!" look. I know I'm not, by far, a very beautiful girl, but I'm not as ugly as I once was. And I like to display alot more confidence in myself around those people who expected me to stay plain and fat. It's nice.

I've got so much more to talk about but right now I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. so..more soon.

Loves,

Steph